Self-confidence is a personality trait that can play a roll in all areas of our lives, including relationships, professional endeavors, and overall happiness. A healthy confidence can help thrust you forward or can play a role in your self-undoing. Confidence comes quite easy to some and some of us struggle with our levels of confidence.
Fortunately, self-confidence can be cultivated and improved over time. If you are blessed to have a large and opinionated family like me. You quickly learn to be tough, easily rebuild inner confidence in time of lack, and have heard discouraging words directed towards you many times. The following strategies have been effective in helping me to boost my self-confidence.
1 Trick your mind
A simple mind trick I like to do is to tell myself the outcome I want and declare it to myself. If I feel discouraged about anything, in my mind, I tell myself “you are beautiful”, “you have a great body”, “you have great style”. Even if I don’t believe it right then. That always works for me. Call me vain (libra) but being aesthetically pleasing to the eye is of importance to me. If I can’t say my outfit and/or presentation is on point, I find something else to encourage myself about. “Girl, you are intelligent”, “you probably have a larger book collection than anyone here.” Yes, in my mind, I put myself up on a pedestal over others. This post is about SELF confidence, not everyone else confidence.
Ex. I walk into a room and I get stares from everyone, I get the feeling the whole room is looking at me.
In the past, I would nervously drop my head, drop my shoulders and walk to my destination praying I could disappear or all the people staring would disappear. I would get nervous about people looking at me. I had to realize that people are looking at me for a reason. Instead of thinking the reason is negative, I create my own reason; because I’m beautiful, because there is something alluring about me, etc. I know it sounds conceited, but it’s what helps me to walk into rooms and be confident. I learned to embrace my beauty and appreciate it. Looks don’t last forever, and I relish in what good looks I have now.
My immediate response to being the center of attention is nervousness and fear, but within a milli second I switch my thinking to suite me and my needs in that moment. I have to tell myself that I like the way I look. I have to tell myself that I am the most confident person in the room and I have no reason the be nervous. I have to tell myself that people are looking at me because I look good. This is what works for me. I trick my brain into believing/knowing that I am good enough. Then I switch my hips right into the room looking every one who is looking at me straight in the eye until they drop their heads in nervousness. I just smile, with a dash of “yeah, I know I look good”, and a smidgen of humility.
2 Be Prepared
You can break someone’s confidence by catching them off guard or abruptly changing plans. To prepare myself for most situations, I do my research. I will gather and apply all the information I can about a person, place, or thing to ensure I can move about with ease. Simply take a moment to educate yourself, reeducate, reflect, remember, recall, and research before stepping into any situation with any person place or thing. You can Google everything these days. This will give you more control of yourself and the environment. Having control of yourself will allow you to relax and focus on the present, rather than operating in high stress. Make preparations for any person place or thing to assist you with having more self-confidence in any situation.
3 Presentation makes a difference
To how you feel about yourself and your presentation sets precedence for how others perceive you and impacts your confidence. On the inside, we know this. This is why when you know you look good and you feel good as a result, you omit that same positive energy to others. This energy makes you appear more confident, even if you aren’t. Then you perform more efficiently and effectively, and vice versa. The energy you put out will attract the same energy back to you. Having positive posture and body language both make a big impact on your overall aura and your perception from others.
To improve your confidence, be sure to show up in ways that make you feel good, comfortable, and as yourself. You might be like me and you are comfortable and feel beautiful in form fitting clothing with comfortable 3+ inch heels. If you want to feel good about yourself, the easiest way is a little self care with a complete outfit that looks and feels good to you and on you. Don’t forget the hair. And stand up straight, having bad posture will ruin a great presentation as quick as an unflattering outfit. No matter what you are wearing, push those shoulders back hold that stomach in and poke those breast out. Lastly, body language can speak for you before you open your mouth. You can look the greatest, but if you can’t manage to walk with confidence, you will cancel out your ensemble. And who likes to waste a good ensemble? Don’t forget to dress appropriately fro the occasion.
4 Take deep breaths
Relax. Take every moment one step at a time. I like to take long deep breaths because it helps time pass quicker. It makes it easier to get through the tough moments calmly and you can think with a clear mind. I might get anxious sometimes, but I take a second and do a few deep (4-8 count) inhales and exhales to slow my heart rate and calm me. I even do this in the middle of conversations and while public speaking. Deep breathing can assist when I need to calm myself and reduce my anxiety quickly. Remaining calm and relaxed can improve your confidence allowing you to decrease your anxiety in the moment.
Deep Breathing is simple and easy, it’s free and healthy for the mind body and spirit. The next time you start to feel overwhelmed, anxious, or feel panicked, take a moment to breath deeply for about 4 rounds of inhales and exhales and watch your heart rate drop. With this technique, you will get through that moment with more ease than you previously thought you could. Then, before you know it, the moment has passed. Take your time. No rush. The spotlight waits for you. Be in the moment because it might not come again.
5 Don’t be so hard on yourself
Be mindful of the words you say, be mindful of your internal monologue. Challenge negative thoughts. Everyone makes mistakes, and no one is perfect. Nothing can stop your progress quicker than your personal thoughts.
When you do come up short (even the best of us fail sometime); It’s not the time to talk negatively about yourself. It’s the time to say, “Hey, it will workout next time”. The thoughts you have, create your reality. Allow your reality to be filled with positive energy which promotes a healthier self-image. Understand mistakes and failures are a part of the learning process. You can only grow more effectively with new experiences and applying lessons learned to your new opportunities.
Our thoughts have a powerful influence on our feelings and behaviors. Identify any negative beliefs you may have about yourself and actively challenge them, in the moment. Instead of saying, “I can’t do this,” reframe it to, “I will try my best, and it’s okay if I make mistakes along the way.” Or familiarize yourself with affirmations and mantras to take it a step further. Even if you encounter difficult situations, handling them head-on will help you develop resilience and self-assurance. Stepping outside your comfort zone is crucial for personal growth and self-confidence. Embrace challenges as opportunities to learn and grow.
6 Surround yourself with positive people
Like the energy you omit to others, other people can do the same to you. If someone around you has negative energy of any kind it can potentially affect you and your confidence levels. It is scientifically proven to be unhealthy to your mind body and spirit, to share energy with negative people. We know these people, they are the toxic relationships, the lovers we stay with who break us down mentally, the unbearable boss, the narcissistic sibling or parent. I can go on and on but the point is we should not share energy with these people, we do and it makes us physically mentally and spiritually ill. These people places and things draw from our life force and can cause depression and a lack of confidence in many ways.
Surround yourself with people you can trust and have your best interest at heart. The people who take time to acknowledge and celebrate your accomplishments with you, no matter how small. They compliment and encourage you in healthy ways. The company you keep can greatly influence your self-confidence. Spend more time interacting and sharing energy with supportive and positive individuals who uplift you and encourage your growth, and vice versa. Avoid those who drain your energy or bring negativity into your life.
If you find that low self-confidence is significantly impacting your quality of life, consider seeking help from a therapist or counselor. Professional guidance can provide tailored strategies to address underlying issues and foster greater self-confidence.
Conclusion
Improving self-confidence is a journey that requires patience and effort. By incorporating these strategies into your daily life, you can start to shift your mindset and boost your self-esteem. Remember that confidence is not about being perfect; it’s about believing in your ability to navigate life’s challenges and recognizing your intrinsic worth. Embrace the journey, and you’ll find your self-confidence blossoming over time. Peace and Love
What do you do when you want to raise your confidence levels? Comment Below
